Companionship is Important
I've been single my entire life, and if you've read any of my other posts you know that. I've been as content as can be expected over the years, despite wanting to have someone special in my life. As content as I have been, there have been bad days.
It's been a bad couple of months. It's not so much that I'm wanting to date, or that I'm wanting a boyfriend. I think it's the need for companionship. Most, if not all, of my friends either have boyfriends or are married, and so they don't have as much time to spend hanging out.
Or, if they're not dating/married, they live in other states and it's not so easy to jump the states borders and visit each other. Talking on the phone or texting, while it helps, doesn't really have the same effect as being together.
The need for companionship is something that I always have. I love being with people. I love just sitting in the same room as someone, even if we're not talking to each other. It's probably why my love language is Quality Time.
So today, I'm not actually talking to the single people - the ones that's friends are married or dating. I'm talking to the people with significant others.
Don't Forget Your Friends Just Because You're Dating/Married
I know it's hard. Once you start dating or get engaged or married, things change. You have other things that are in the front of your mind. You want to talk to you S.O all the time, and so therefore other things get put on the back burner. You are busy with going on dates, working, being together, going to college.
Whatever the case may be, things that were once a priority may no longer be one. As someone who is currently single, this is a hard one. I know things change and with that, so do priorities. I get that different things become important. But being that friend that's "left behind" is very hard.
I'm not saying, "Don't hang out with your boyfriend and talk to him, whatever." I'm asking that you think about the people that are used to being around you, spending time with you, and now are feeling like they're left in the dust.
Know That We Are Happy For You Even If We May Seem Jealous
Yes, we're often jealous when our best friends get boyfriends, start dating someone new, or get engaged and married. But we're also happy. Maybe it was a dream that you both get married by having a double wedding (don't all best friends think about that?!), or that you're going to plan your weddings together? Or that you'll go on double dates?
So while we're happy for you, we may also be sad. Not just because we don't have a boyfriend or husband, but because we don't get that quality time with you that we used to.
It's nothing that anyone should be ashamed or hurt by - on either side.
Understand That We Love You No Matter What
I had a friend that got married a few years ago, and we stopped talking for a while afterward. We had a bit of a falling out between her engagement and marriage, and I'm sad to say that I didn't go to her wedding. I was sort-of selfish about the whole thing, and I'm embarrassed to say that I made a mistake in missing her wedding.
However, we recently talked about the whole thing, and we were fine. We realized that that little thing wasn't something to be the reason we weren't talking to each other anymore. I still loved her, she still loved me, and it was okay.
As a single person, I can say from experience that it's hard to see your friends with boyfriends, or them getting married.
For those of you with significant others, please take the time to get in touch with your friends that may need you today. Give them a little bit of your time - I can tell you it will mean the world to them.