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I Am Broken


Recently, I came across a free verse poetry that I wrote a little over three years ago. I’m not a poet or a songwriter by any means, but there are times – often in times of deep emotion – that poetry is just what comes out when I need to express myself.

The season that I wrote this poetry was a dark season for me. I was hurt, badly hurt, and grasping for understanding as to why this thing had happened. It was a struggle that lasted months.

And I wrote this to God….

I am broken

Wrecked

Shattered

And You have allowed it.

You have brought me to this place

Of utter dependency

Deepest need

Complete vulnerability.

Lying on my face before You

My heart cries out with groans

Incomprehensible.

This is inexplicable.

Why, God?

Why have You allowed this pain?

This irony?

This living nightmare?

I have no words.

I'm numb

Overwhelmed

Grasping.

What can I believe?

Is there hope?

Tears come without warning

My head spins

Screams are stifled inside.

When will I see redemption?

When will You make it right?



I’m encouraged by this today, and I share it with you today, for this simple reason: I’m not there anymore. When I was in that dark season, that was all I could see. I couldn’t see how it would get better. I couldn’t see a good future. I only saw the pain and the unanswered questions. Now, looking back, the memory of that pain is very real, but now I also see the path by which I was brought out of it and into the light.

And so I want to remind you today: there is more to your life than the darkness and pain you might currently find yourself in. There is a future and a hope – a verse from the Bible I cling to (Jeremiah 29:11). So keeping asking those hard questions, and feel your pain, but remember – the nature of seasons is that they change. No season, good or bad, sticks around forever.

This poetry reminds me of that.
    

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