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What I've Never Missed


In my sixteen years or so of life, I’ve lived in two countries, three states, six cities, and nine houses. Undoubtedly, that means I’ve moved. A lot.

And every time that I’ve moved and left a place that had been something of a home to me, people have brought up the topic of missing things. They always talk about missing traditions, experiences, and memories, but I’ve never fully understood that. Those things are still just as close to me as before because the past has not disappeared from my mind any more than it would have had I never left. I can’t miss memories because I can still hold onto them.

However, I’m not saying that I don’t miss things and people. I do—and I do so passionately. But what I miss isn’t those days that we did have together or the things that I did see. I miss the future—and the present—that could have been if I hadn’t left.

There are days that I imagined that will never happen. There are things I couldn’t have predicted that would have happened and now won’t. There are inside jokes and friendships that I will never get to develop. There are friends who will have big things happen, and I won’t be there for any of it. There are sunsets and sunrises that I won’t get to see and smile at. I miss all the things that could have happened if just one thing hadn’t—if I hadn’t left.

But don’t get me wrong; I’m happy that I’ve had to deal with all of this. Because if I feel like I’m missing what would have happened from all of these different places, that means that I’d built a life, or at least part of a life, in each of these places. I have friends across multiple countries and memories of all kinds of different people, places, and things—so yes, I miss what could have kept happening if I was in all of those places with all of those people, but I’m so glad that I have that opportunity.

It’s also important that I mention that the life I have right now is one that I know I’d be missing if I were anywhere else right now, and this is where God has placed me.

I have so much to be grateful for; God has given me so much more than I deserve. And because of that, I miss the lives that I could be living, and I’m thankful for the one I am living.

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