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Having a Boyfriend Doesn't Define You


Well, hello there. Here I am, sitting behind my computer where I feel like it's safe and I can say whatever I want because no one will judge me. That's not true. I'm still scared people will judge me. Especially for my next statement.

I am twenty-three years old, and I've been single my entire life. I've never had a boyfriend, never been in love, never gone on a date (yikes!). I have had a couple guys interested in me. I've talked to guys and gotten to know them better but there was nothing there. There were reasons why it wouldn't work (they lived too far away, our personalities didn't mesh, etc).

I feel like a lot of the time we think that having a boyfriend, or being with someone, somehow makes us more of a person. 

Okay, okay. I know in the day and age we live in, it's very common for people not to get married until they're in their late twenties or early thirties. I know I'm not alone in my singleness.

However, in the town I live in, almost everyone my age got married two to three years ago, and are starting to have kids. It's hard not to think that I'm one of the only ones that isn't married and starting a family.

I try to be content most of the time, but there are days when I say, "Is there something wrong with me?", "Am I even likable?", "Why does no one want to date me?", etc, etc.

Is it too much to ask for someone to want to hold my hand, kiss my cheek, and sit with me and watch movies on the couch? I don't think so.


BUT (and that's a BIG but) because I've been single, I've learned a lot about myself. There's something to say about walking through life without worrying about who else you might affect in your decisions. 

  • Be content. You're where you are in your life for a reason. Maybe you've got a new job coming your way, or an unexpected trip. There's always a reason for what's going on - and something is going to come up. 
  • Use this time to find yourself. Yeah, yeah, it sounds cliche. But do you really know what you want? Do you know what you want to do for your career? Do you know if you want to someday get married and start a family? 
  • Use your singleness as a reason to travel. I've been to Florida once this year, to California once, and in the new year I'm going back to Florida, then to Virginia. And maybe some other places. You never know. This is MY time, and it's YOURS as well.
  • Spend time with your family and friends. I know you don't think it will, but after you have a boyfriend, those relationships will change. You might still love your friends and family just as much, but your time with them will be more limited. 

Being single isn't bad. Don't let anyone around you shame you into thinking it is. Find yourself, travel, work, go to school. 

Use this time for YOU.

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