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When It Feels Like You're Drowning

Hey, can we get real for a minute?

This month has been really hard. I've been struggling to stay afloat and keep my head above the water. The world is really, really scary. Keeping our courage and wearing our armor can be extremely difficult.

Personally, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety. These things aren't easy. It's a lot easier to just shrug them off instead of having honest conversations about our mental health, especially when those conversations have the potential to hurt more than heal. It can be extremely vulnerable and flat out terrifying to bare your soul, to say "Hey, I'm struggling, and here's why."

It is sometimes impossible to confess that we are not okay. It is sometimes impossible to ask for help. It is sometimes impossible to live without feeling like you're stuck in the middle of the ocean, pounded relentlessly by waves of grief, fear, loneliness.

Last night, I had a nightmare where my mental state snapped, I disassociated with reality, and I couldn't ask for help. I lost control. I don't know exactly why I'm telling you this, except to tell you that I get it. I'm in these waves too. There's a storm brewing; the skies are gray. The sea is churning, taking us along with it. And it's a terrifying place to be in.

So. This is me telling you you're not alone. The ocean is big, vast, and terrifying. But all you have to do is punch your hand up through the water and hold on to the hand reaching down to help. There will always be someone to help you, even if that someone is me, a stranger on the internet. We will hold on together through this storm. We will weather it.

Because the thing about the ocean is, it's not always tumultuous and dangerous. Sometimes it's placid and still and peaceful. Those days will come again.

Sometimes you need a reminder of how resilient you are from someone else, so here it is: you will survive this. You will make it. You're not alone.

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