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Learning to Say No


Do you know how to say no? Not in the way of “No, don’t do that”. But in the way of, “No, I cannot help with such and such”.

I don’t. I’m a chronic yesser. I say yes to almost anything people throw at me. Can you help me write this blog post? Yes. Can you edit this article? Yes. Can you come to my Lularoe Party tomorrow? Heck yes. (I mean come on, those leggings are stinking comfortable!) I don’t know how to say no, even when my mental health is at stake.

I think it comes from not wanting to let people down. I feel like if I say no, someone is going to be disappointed. So, if I can just add one more thing to my plate, it’s going to all be okay. Everyone will be happy.

Except maybe me.

If you’re anything like me, this causes stress. It doesn’t feel like it will at the start of what you said “yes” to, but eventually all those yeses start to pile up and become commitments that you’re not able to fulfill because life gets in the way.

Starting this blog was a big YES. I started it with the full intent on having posts three times a week, and somehow it snowballed into daily posts (sometimes more than one a day!). While this is great because it’s encouraging everyone (hopefully!), it’s also a lot on my plate. It’s not what I expected when the blog was started.

But it’s my big YES. It’s the thing that I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager myself. So this yes is important to me.

There are things in our lives that we say “yes” to that aren’t so important. So how do we learn to say no? Simply by doing. Simply by saying, “No, I cannot do that because I’ve got enough on my plate right now”. It’s okay to say no. You’re not forced to do anything you don’t want to do. Even if you want to help with this or that, you may NOT be able to.

Your mental health, your stress levels, are at stake. It’s okay to say no. It really is. 

So, let’s practice okay?

No.

No.

No.

There. Now you go try, chronic yesser. I dare you.

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