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The Excuses Stop Now

Hi, I’m the queen of excuses.

But aren’t we all? Excuses are easy to make. I’m tired, I need rest, I’ll do it later. I didn’t sleep well last night, I’ll wake up early and go running another day. I have a headache, I’m not going to write today. I won’t go outside, I need to clean up in here. And then you go get ice cream and watch Netflix for seven hours instead — and you know what? I’m the first person I know who will do this. I’m the worst offender, and I always regret it later.

So why am I always making excuses?

Because I’m afraid. Because the task seems daunting, and I don’t want to fail, and I don’t want to look stupid, and I don’t want to get up and try because it might not work out.

Because it’s not convenient. Because I would rather be sitting here doing nothing instead of putting in the work for benefits later.

Because it means commitment and commitment is that big scary word nobody wants to tackle.

Because...well, just think of anything negative, and I’ve made excuses for that reason before.

The excuses stop today. They stop right now. For me, at least. I want to be done with it. Finished. I want to do things.

The excuses. have. to. stop.

I’m going to get up. I got plenty of sleep last night; I don’t need another hour. I’m fully capable of getting up and moving again. I’m going to eat breakfast; there are things available to eat in the morning that aren’t heavy and won’t make me feel sick. I’m going to accomplish the things that need doing early, I don’t have anything going on in the mornings and I regret waiting until later.

I’m going to shove aside the fear. Take a deep breath and remind myself what I’m going for. Why I’m going for it. I’ll screw up sometimes, but I don’t want to let fear rule my life or my body. I won’t let anxiety drag me down like the weight attached to my ankle, dictating what I want and don’t want.

I’m going to commit. I’m going to do things I know will improve me and turn out for the better and teach me lessons, and I’m going to resolve to do them and not give up, because sometimes, the hardest part is the shock of diving into the water at all.

I won’t be perfect. Excuses don’t go away immediately. They keep coming back, like mosquitoes that drive you inside. (Inside. That’s another thing that keeps me trapped.) But I want to actively fight all those little excuses.

I’m going to get up and chase the things I want. All my doubts, all my fears and worries, all my hesitations, are there, but I can break through them. I can continue. I can improve. And slowly but surely, with hard work and reminders over and over and over again, I will improve.

The excuses stop now.

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